Barbie Eater
Part of all of us hates Barbie. We hate it because Barbie is probably one of the dumbest institutions in America and its popularity doesn't seem to be decreasing. So screw Barbie and carve a pumpkin like this.
When I am not carving pumpkins, I operate some of your favorite online stores:ShopInPrivate.com. OverTheHill.com RomanticGifts.com, and Bachelorette.com. I have a really fun job!
Finally, one secret fact about me is that I also own and run Vibrators.com. Yup, I sell sex toys and vibrators for a living (not porn though). I guess somebody has to. People sure do buy a lot of them.