The Mooning Pumpkin

The Mooning Pumpkin
We recently moved, but in our old neighborhood we had two neighbors that used to bicker in a sort of good-natured way.

One neighbor was a grumpy young guy. He was the type of grumpy guy that you would expect to see behind the counter in a record store. A conversation with him would go something like: You: "Do you have the new Iggy Pop CD?" Him: "New? New? that CD is like 4 months old. I recently heard that he is due to make another one in a year, but we obviously don't have that. I mean, we don't have a time machine or anything. Did you expect me to be able to deliver you a CD that hasn't been released yet?" Got it. That was one neighbor.

The other neighbor was a grumpy old woman. She was the type that put 7 policital election signs on her front lawn, sat insider her house on Halloween night with the light off so she didn't have to give out candy, and mooched coffee off of her neighbors on a weekend morning so that she didn't have to brew a pot.

The two neighbors bickered away. It was more pitful than funny, but entertaining to the rest of the neighborhood anyway.

That is why when I created a mooning pumpkin I put it on the woman's lawn, pointed it at the Man's house and placed a sign that said "Hey (man's name)! Happy Halloween"). This was a popular prank in our neighborhood. You should try it. I bet in your 'hood it will go over better. It is unlikely that you carve 50-100 pumpkins each year, so the neighbors might not know who was responsible for the prank.

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When I am not carving pumpkins, I am a successful entrepreneur. This year I launched a new brand of bulletproof vests. You can see it at BulletSafe.com. It is a pretty big deal too. It offers great protection and only costs $299.