The World's Fastest Pumpkin Carver

The World's Fastest Pumpkin Carver
Recently, I decided that I would become the world's fastest pumpkin carver. You see other pumpkin carvers have more artisitic talent than I do, so I did what any semi-worthless hack would do. I decided to do what I do faster. Not better, not more precisely, just faster.

I have a very narrow realm of knowledge so I decided to make a tool with which to carve pumpkins. I can make very few things, I can't make furniture, I can't bake cookies, I can't manage to make any money from this website, but I can make a big heavy device with sharp edges. So I did.

Last Friday, I spent the night in my Art School's metal shop and welded up what I am calling the pumpkin thumper. It is a big piece of pipe with some blades welded to it. The goal is to smash a pumpkin with it and instantly carve a pumpkin. How can anyone beat my record if I carve a pumpkin instantly! See the video below to watch it in action.

You will have to pardon my excitement when it actually works. Before the clip you see here, I spent 20 minutes making a fool of myself in front of my friends. I smashed the first 3 pumpkins to bits with this thing.

I borrowed the video equipment for this video from work. I run RomanticGifts.com. Here is the official company video. It is sort of straight-forward. It isn't a great video, but I am proud of the work we do.


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When I am not carving pumpkins, I run the world's most private drugstore. ShopInPrivate.com
Also, last year, my company took over RomanticGifts.com, so if you need a romantic gift for Christmas, a birthday or an anniversary, please consider our wonderful store.
My co-workers and I run the biggest store for bachelorette party items in the world. It is lots of fun. We have fun jobs.

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ShopInPrivate.com | Bachelorette.com | RomanticGifts.com

Look everyone, My Book, Extreme Pumpkins - At Amazon and My Second Book, Extreme Pumpkins II is there too.
Ok, this is just getting silly. My books are now at Barnes and Noble's (Extreme Pumpkins and Extreme Pumpkins II, Borders (Extreme Pumpkins and Extreme Pumpkins II), and a ton of independent book stores, (see BookSense.com.)